We got him from the pound. Usually I hate to go to the pound to see the animals but this one day in October 2007 I said yes. He was in the very first cage and I immediately sat down and petted him through the wire fence. My mom stuck her head in the dog area and asked if I wanted to get him. I said yes.

We only had him 1 year and 4 months. He slept on my bed with me from the second or third day we brought him home. He had siezures. Usually at night and sometimes he would lose control of his bladder. Instead of going to the vet and getting him some help I just ignored it. After all I didn't see the whole episode. When he did have one in the dining room and I saw it it scared me. We took him to the vet. We did bloodwork. He came home and 15 minutes later started a small siezure. After 15 more minutes he had a large siezure. His head was tilted almost perpendicular to his body cutting off his oxygen. He came to but was panting. Another 45 minutes and he started caughing up blood. I asked my mom to take him to the emergency vet hospital in Tacoma but she didn't want to go without me. (We are taking care of my 4 nieces and nephews and they were in school.) Basically it was 4 hours before we got him to the vet hospital. By then he was so tired... When we said goodbye to him I knew he wasn't going to make it.

The Hospital called before we even got home. The kids didn't tell us for about two hours after we got home. Then my mom called them and I was watching her. With my eyes I asked her. She just shook her head. I screamed as I ran to her. I don't think I've cried that much ever.

I miss him so much!!! I miss our first pug Ugi (another pound puppy) very much too. Pugs have a way of getting into a heart and creating a home for themelves. But when their body leaves it leaves that little home empty, sad, and lonely.

We have our first pug puppy and though I love her I am so scared of losing her that I am not allowing my whole heart to love her.

Thank you for reading. This is in part a confession of a guilty conscience. I did not do my best for Mack. I wanted him to die peacefully and instead he probably died scared and with people he didn't know.