Any way to help Makayla?

[Dieselsmom]

We don't know Kayla's history. We assume she's about 3 or 4 years old and was used as a puppymill breeder. Here's our biggest problem with her -- she's scared of everything! Including her own shadow. She's scared of loud noises, fast movements, loud voices. I've tried to be slow and quiet with her but she still gets very nervous. When I reach to pet her, she ducks down. When my husband gets on the floor and wrestles with Diesel (which D is used to cuz he's done it since he was a baby), she gets very nervous and cowers by me. She will sometimes edge up close to him like she so desparately wants to play too but it's very rare that she will join in. People scare her, including people she knows (like my parents and my in-laws). You can't approach her from behind cuz she gets extremely nervous. She's been loved since the day we brought her home. I'm just wondering if there's any way to help her get over her fears and nervousness. I realize she's only been with us for 6 months and has made a major improvement in those six months. But she just breaks my heart when she gets scared.

[ViralMD]

First, I would keep doing what you're doing. Don't comfort her too much when she cowers - because that only reinforces the fear response. Give her positive reinforcement - including nice treats like chicken and cheese - for behavior that you want to encourage! This little girl has years of abuse to overcome, so don't expect that it's resolvable in a few months! You're great to have taken her in, she just is going to be slow to trust.

[Dieselsmom]

Ooohhh, good point. I never realized it until I read your post, but I totally encourage the cowering behavior. When daddy plays with D and she wants to join in but gets scared, I have a tendency to cuddle her and that probably only helps to reinforce her scared behavior. Never realized that til now. It's just so hard not to cuddle her at times like taht cuz she just breaks my heart!

[Imon]

It's taken Kayla 3 to 4 years to develop these fears and for them to become ingrained. You're not going to change them overnight. Or even in 6 months. You wrote that you have seen improvement since she's been with you, and that's very good news.

I've worked with children who have been abused and/or been in bad home situations. Many of them have come to expect abuse, yelling, hitting, punishment - many times a raised hand or a loud voice was the immediate precursor to being hurt - they learned to duck, flinch, whatever to avoid the pain. Your Kayla may have been abused - do you know for sure how she was treated? Many puppymill dogs never are cuddled or coddled or petted like our pampered pugs are and only associate hands with pain or forced breeding or restraint.

It sounds as if you are doing the right things, just give her time. I wouldn't overwhelm her with new things, but I wouldn't overprotect her, either. With little kids who are fearful, the usual advice is to be very matter of fact and not reinforce their fears by being overly solicitious to them. But if you know that loud voices are a trigger for Kayla's fears, then maybe get her used to it gradually. Sometimes if you pair whatever causes the fear with something the animal loves, you can break the negative association and replace it with a positive (or at least a neutral one). Maybe if she likes chicken, you could give her little bits of chicken while someone talks in a loud voice or does some of the other things she fears. Just don't let her think the chicken is because of the loud voice, just have it be something that happens concurrently. It might work.

Another things that can work with a frightened child is to sit side by side, not touching, but talking quietly. Sometimes a face to face gaze is too much for them to deal with up front. But sitting quietly, side by side, can work. Maybe it would work with Kayla and your husband. The wrestling might be reminding her of things that were done to her previously in her life. It sounds as if she wants to be near him, but is frightened of the close physical contact/restraint.

Good luck with Kayla - she's lucky to have wound up in such a loving and caring home!

[GrannytoPugsleyMilo]

Not to sound discouraging, but DeAnna's Milo has taken at least 2 years to come out of his shell. He flinched whenever you reached for him and he cowered away from you and hid from you when you come through the door.....but now in the last 2 months he will woo woo when we (hubby and I) come through the door of their home. He will allow us to pet him and love him....but if we all go out together somewhere i.e., meet up group, Milo stays very close to DeAnna or Michael......he still has some insecurity in that area. But we see it getting better. Like they said it took time to be abused and neglected....it will take time to break the shell and show you all of herself.


Puggie Huggies w/prayers !!

[OtisPug]

First, I would keep doing what you're doing. Don't comfort her too much when she cowers - because that only reinforces the fear response. Give her positive reinforcement - including nice treats like chicken and cheese - for behavior that you want to encourage! This little girl has years of abuse to overcome, so don't expect that it's resolvable in a few months! You're great to have taken her in, she just is going to be slow to trust.

So when Kayla starts to edge up to Daddy and Brother, wanting to play, would that be a good time to give the chicken/cheese treats?
That can become a fine line in when to reward good vs scared behavior.

[Dieselsmom]

Not to sound discouraging, but DeAnna's Milo has taken at least 2 years to come out of his shell. He flinched whenever you reached for him and he cowered away from you and hid from you when you come through the door.....but now in the last 2 months he will woo woo when we (hubby and I) come through the door of their home. He will allow us to pet him and love him....but if we all go out together somewhere i.e., meet up group, Milo stays very close to DeAnna or Michael......he still has some insecurity in that area. But we see it getting better. Like they said it took time to be abused and neglected....it will take time to break the shell and show you all of herself.


Puggie Huggies w/prayers !!

I'm not discouraged. I'm just glad to know that possibly over time, she will break out of her fears. She is such a wonderful girl so it just breaks my heart that she has such a hard time trusting us that we won't hurt her.

[Dieselsmom]

It's taken Kayla 3 to 4 years to develop these fears and for them to become ingrained. You're not going to change them overnight. Or even in 6 months. You wrote that you have seen improvement since she's been with you, and that's very good news.

I've worked with children who have been abused and/or been in bad home situations. Many of them have come to expect abuse, yelling, hitting, punishment - many times a raised hand or a loud voice was the immediate precursor to being hurt - they learned to duck, flinch, whatever to avoid the pain. Your Kayla may have been abused - do you know for sure how she was treated? Many puppymill dogs never are cuddled or coddled or petted like our pampered pugs are and only associate hands with pain or forced breeding or restraint.

It sounds as if you are doing the right things, just give her time. I wouldn't overwhelm her with new things, but I wouldn't overprotect her, either. With little kids who are fearful, the usual advice is to be very matter of fact and not reinforce their fears by being overly solicitious to them. But if you know that loud voices are a trigger for Kayla's fears, then maybe get her used to it gradually. Sometimes if you pair whatever causes the fear with something the animal loves, you can break the negative association and replace it with a positive (or at least a neutral one). Maybe if she likes chicken, you could give her little bits of chicken while someone talks in a loud voice or does some of the other things she fears. Just don't let her think the chicken is because of the loud voice, just have it be something that happens concurrently. It might work.

Another things that can work with a frightened child is to sit side by side, not touching, but talking quietly. Sometimes a face to face gaze is too much for them to deal with up front. But sitting quietly, side by side, can work. Maybe it would work with Kayla and your husband. The wrestling might be reminding her of things that were done to her previously in her life. It sounds as if she wants to be near him, but is frightened of the close physical contact/restraint.

Good luck with Kayla - she's lucky to have wound up in such a loving and caring home!

Thank you for the great advice! It's so hard to see her fear us but I never thought of it in the aspect that it took her several years to learn this so it will take her several years to break out of the behavior.

The problem is that we do not know how Kayla was treated before we got her; she was simply left in the backyard overnight at the humane society so we have absolutely no background on her. We don't know how they treated or mistreated her. I'm assuming that because of her fear of noises and quick movements, she wasn't treated well and was most likely abused.

That's exactly it -- she wants to be near him but she's scared when he touches her or reaches out to pet her. Part of the problem is that my husband has always played rough with Diesel and been loud with him, but that's all Diesel has known since we've had him since he was 8 weeks old. So part of it is that my husband has to adjust how he handles and acts around Kayla and that's taking time on his part too!!

It's definitely a slow process; I just wanted to be reassured, I guess, that she will eventually get over her fears.

Thank you everyone for such great advice.

[Sweetie Pie]

Molly spent 5 years in a puppy mill cage. The "breeder" did allow her in her home to recover from several c-sections. What a nice lady.

Even though she was fostered for a while before I got her, she still had some really strange behaviors. She would take pieces of food from her food dish & run away. That & her tattered ears made me believe she had to compete for food & due to her small size, was frequently beaten up by other dogs.

She wouldn't cross doorways & when I would approach her to pick her up, she would cower. When she would have an accident she would also cower when I was cleaning up, so I know her human punished her.

I took off two weeks from work when I got her. She did get lots of hand contact, face stroking & my talking to her in baby voices. The key is a soft touch with a soft voice-anything else is a threat.

Now, she plays with the other two pugs, goes outside willingly to potty, laps her food up like there's no tomorrow, sits for treats & barks playfully. She gives me kisses & belly washes to Tucker.

Whatever other issues your Kayla may have will resolve. I find it incredible that they can be so loving after what they have been through.

[2MillRescues]

My Lena and Ohnie were surrendered to MN Pug Rescue at a truck stop June 2000. The breeder did not give out her address and did not want anyone to come to her place. Lena had ear and skin infections and cowered and jumped away from people at the slightest movement near her. Her toes splay out so she might've spent her first four years "on the wires." She still has challenges with housetraining so I presume she was mostly a kennel dog because she doesn't mind pooping near her eating and sleeping space. Well, it's been 5 1/2 years since she arrived and finally she tolerates being held -- for about two minutes. She used to sleep at the far corner of the bed but now snuggles close. She still does not know how to play but if there is a treat stuck in a toy, she'll work to get it out. My older pug, Ohnie, was 7 when she arrived and seems to have had more time with people. She is well-socialized to people and pugs - but not canines that are not pugs. Go figure. They are individuals. After you bond more you might consider taking obedience classes with her. It will give her more confidence and strengthen the bond between you. It worked for Lena. Keep up the good work! All the best to you and your Kayla!