Help! I'm being stalked by Maude
There is a terrible creature that follows me everywhere I go outside. It is a snake, I think or maybe a snail or some horrible mutant alien thing. It tries to stay behind me where I can't see it, but every once in awhile it forgets and then I spy it. I immediately sit down and refuse to go on until my mother gives me food. Here it is. Horrible, isn't it?
My mother is completely unconcerned that I'm being terrorized by this....this....THING.
And LOOK! There's a nest of them hiding in the fruit bowl. Trying to fool me by nestling among the oranges, but I wasn't born yesterday.
Help me. I don't want this thing to suck me up into it's pod ship or it's web or it's lair. Does my mother care? Nope. She harbours these things. Can no one save me? Can I swear out a restraining order or something?
Yours in terror,