"And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee..."
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Thread: "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee..."

  1. #1
    6 Beautiful Pugs's Avatar
    6 Beautiful Pugs is offline Village Caretaker of the Old & Broken
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    Dec 2009
    Sun City, CA

    Default "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee..."

    Sammy here. Things have not been all dog treats and sunbaths for me here lately.

    You see, I'm not a religious dog...not at all. I was told when I signed on here that this was not a religious household....well now they've gone all biblical on me and I'm not happy about it.

    Last Saturday the pudgy lady leaves and while she is gone for the day, the nefarious fawn crew decides they are jealous of my big, beautiful, haunting, dark eyes and my place at night in the pudgy lady's arms. A plan is hatched and during a moment of jostling and wrestling, a fawn paw whips out and my eye is scratched! It hurt, but I try to be brave about it.

    That evening when the pudgy lady comes home she sees me squinting. She wants to look, but I want her to leave it alone. She pins me down and antibiotic drops are instilled...they sting, I'm not happy at all. I take my place in the big bed, in her arms and when we wake in the morning Sunday I can't see from the scratched eye. She says it has turned blue and I must see the vet....I would rather see a certain fawn pug with a quick and dirty paw and a "sensitive" tummy banished and forced to eat Ol' Roy and chocolate Ex-Lax for life.

    It is Mother's Day Sunday and the ophthalmologist is not in until Monday, so I am subjected to more drops in my eye. It just hurts.

    Monday rolls around and I get the long car ride to the fancy vet with lots of letters after his name...he puts drops in my eye, shines lights, does all manner of insult to my sore eye. A cone of shame is strapped around my neck a purse full of medicines and drops are given to the pudgy lady and I am allowed to go home. I just want to close my eyes and sleep this off, but the pudgy lady insists on waking me up every hour and putting drops in my sore eye. I have had about enough of all of this fuss.

    The nefarious fawn crew began to whisper among themselves, glancing my way, obviously upset that their plan has resulted in my getting even MORE attention and special treatment. The leader, a small-boned fawn who always carries the faint scent of duckling on her breath...grabbed Bear, the token black...and began to whisper into his ear. Bear is not known for his intellectual capacity, his head is rather misshapen with a bulgey forehead which makes one think of old Saturday Night Live Conehead episodes.

    I had been resting on the couch with the pudgy lady when she got up and went to the office. I was stuck on the couch with the man, who is nice, but he is not MY person and little Bug. The rest followed PL into the office and my cone amplified their furtive whispers. I became stressed that the PL had not yet returned, I emitted my high pitched yip and the man lifted me off the couch. I trotted off as fast as luxating joints can carry me down the hallway to the office. It was at that moment a small-boned fawn paw shoved a shiny black posterior and Bear jumped up and began to run the opposite way down the hall - in passing, his big old misshapen conehead head caught the edge of my cone and he was funneled right down it - head on, into my sore eye. I yelped in pain. My eye was ruined, the contents of my eye spilled onto the inside of my cone. Bear slunk away quietly and fawn pugs tried to look shocked and innocent.

    PL made frantic calls to the emergency vet. More drops were instilled....and my eye hurt very badly. In the morning I was again loaded into the car and saw the fancy vet man again. He said my eye was offended and must be plucked out! I tried to explain that I was not religious and didn't take stock in such nonsense. I was sent home and the next day again loaded up to see yet another vet who also said my eye was no good.... but she also said my breath stunk - and not only should I lose my eye but a few teeth as well! She was very rude. BTW, HER breath didn't smell like roses either! I think she had a liverwurst sandwich for lunch! She sent me home with yet more nasty drops and then yesterday morning my world fell apart....

    When I awoke, I endured my series of drops...but at pill time, no delicious meatball was given to me! I was put in my eating crate, but no bowl of wonderful raw venison was brought! The nefarious crew were all fed and they taunted me with breakfast breath as I remained....now a starving wisp of a elderly pug.

    Once again I was loaded into the Roadster and once again I was taken to the rude lady vet....PL hugged me and kissed my head and I was handed over and placed in a cage for most of the day. Cages are not my thing. I won't pee in a cage. So all day I had to hold it. This was all complicated by the IV they placed in my paw...dripping more liquid into me and making me have to pee even more.

    I observed the bustle and hustle of the place, the dogs and cats who came in and out, some doing better than me, some worse. I saw birth and I saw death and I pondered upon whether I was now facing my own death in this cold, loud, busy place.

    Finally they came for me, but instead of letting me out to pee, they put me on a table and as I drifted off to sleep I thought of how nice it feels to lay in the PL arms at night and that I hope I have the chance to do it again. When I awoke I found that, indeed, my eye had been plucked out and cast from me....and so had a few of my teeth. Would they still love me now that I was horribly disfigured? Would one, big, dark, haunting eye be enough?

    The PL came and got me and gave me hugs. She cooed over me and told me what a poor sweet man I was. I didn't feel so poor, at least I made it out alive. I slept fitfully on the ride home, my eye and mouth hurt....and I still had to pee, but I couldn't walk yet.

    At home I was carried in amongst the surprised and angry yelps of the nefarious fawn crew....I was laid upon Bailey's bed in the bedroom and the light was turned off and the door closed so that I could sleep.

    At bedtime the nefarious crew woke me up as they came in. I was embarrassed to realize I had wet myself in my sleep....I really had to go bad. PL wrapped a belly band around me, got Bailey a different bed and settled me onto the big bed. I've never worn a belly band before. She laid me on the foot of the bed where I wouldn't get jostled, but as soon as she got in bed, my cone and I unsteadily made our way up to lay triumphantly in her arms. I shot Ms. Peaches a vicious stink eye with my one remaining good orb.

    This morning I am feeling much better already. I was fed my breakfast and ate every bit....I went out to the yard and had a good long pee and then PL put me back up on the big bed all by myself for a nice nap. When I woke up I went out and had a sunbath in the yard. I'm glad to not be dead, I'm glad to still have my place in PL's arms at night and I plan to piss on the food bowl of a few fawn pugs as soon as I can.

    Thank you for your concern,
    Last edited by 6 Beautiful Pugs; 05-14-2011 at 06:43 PM.
    In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

    - Mohandas Gandhi

  2. #2
    DappleDoxieStaff's Avatar
    DappleDoxieStaff is offline Village Royalty
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    Dec 2007
    Green Country, Oklahoma


    Oh darling Sammy ... I am so very sorry of all the pain and indignity that you have suffered!!
    I think you are dashing and that one haunting eye will have your Staff wrapped around your paw!

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2050/2197629331_a45c4c5a9f_t.jpg ... & Mandy - The alleged Vicious Beast)

    Dynamic Adventures of the DappleDuo

    Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea.
    -Robert A. Heinlein

  3. #3
    Wally 'n' Leto's Avatar
    Wally 'n' Leto is offline Pugzu Guru
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    Jun 2010
    Montreal, Qc


    Oh Sammy, I think you are just as handsome as you were with two eyes. Pirates are very sexy, you know. And missing an eye caries a mystery that will surely bring extra pets and treats from strangers. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better.
    pugsnbugg and CSollers like this.
    Heather, Mommy to skinkid Toby and furkids Sir Wally of Pugzu and Duke Leto Prancypants the Fragrant.

    Also Mom to Archer the Canadian X and Willow the Paint.

    Main squeeze of high school sweetie Scot.

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  5. #4
    jstpugginalong's Avatar
    jstpugginalong is offline Village Admiral
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    Jul 2009
    Central Washington


    Poor dear, sweet Sammy!!! I am so sorry that you have had to endure such horrors but I am oh so happy that you survived your ordeal and are able to remain in your lady's arms just where you belong!! And if it makes you feel any better, I think that pissing in the others bowls is an excellent idea! Please have your Ma give you an extra snuggle and treat from us! Oh and Rosie say's to tell you that she finds you rather exotic looking and even more handsome then before~
    Mom To
    Fabulous Felines Quinn & Mia
    My Beautiful Quarter Horses & Paints

  6. #5
    tall grass pugs's Avatar
    tall grass pugs is offline Village Orb Weaver Advocate
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    Aug 2004


    Sweet heart, have your staff look up advertising's wonderful Haband Man. You can always live here, no one can see you anyway. Hugs.

  7. #6
    Estrella_Luna's Avatar
    Estrella_Luna is offline Village Admiral
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    Oct 2010


    Aw Sammy. You sad little one eyed man, I think you are just as cute with one eye as you were with two. I hope you have a speedy recovery so you can get to work on your revenge! Many hugs and kisses to you.

    Star ~ Mom to Phoebe the Pug and the feisty felines, Garbo & Jubei
    "Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
    ― Jen Lancaster

  8. #7
    Suri's Avatar
    Suri is offline Village Secret Super-Star
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    Dec 2008
    Williamsburg, Virginia


    Oh Sammy, Scruffy here, I can secretly tell you I have a thing for one eyed pugs. I just think they are hot! Hope you are feeling better and get lots of sympathy from the special lady you love so much.
    Susan, mom to Scruffy, Bo and Maggie Mae

    Honoring Jenny, Trooper, Kaja,Muff, and Pepper

  9. #8
    PugMa's Avatar
    PugMa is offline Village Admiral
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    Jun 2009
    Adrian GA


    Oh Sammy! I have cried and cried over the stuff you have gone through this week. You have a very good "pudgy lady" there. Be kind to her. I am sure she is quite hurt over what has happened to you.
    I say, make the best of it. Have the pudgy lady make you an eye patch and be "Pirate Sam" the Terror of the Fawn Pugs! Arrrrghhhh!
    Ma to Joy
    MuShu & Kaya's Grand"Ma"'

    "A dog naps so much because he loves so hard."

  10. #9
    pugaddiction's Avatar
    pugaddiction is offline Village Royalty
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    Jul 2010
    Aldergrove, British Columbia, Canada


    oh sweet Sammy. I am so happy that you are on the mend. You are a very special boy, and may you have many more years left to snuggle in your PL's arms.
    PS I think you are very hansome and rather mysterious with the one eye.
    Pug Mom to Roxie
    Zoey (March 27, 2005 - February 23, 2015) and Eddie (October 2, 2010 - September 10, 2019) have moved on to the bridge

  11. #10
    Zeake's Avatar
    Zeake is offline Village Mayor
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    Oct 2010
    Georgia United States of America


    Poor guy.

    Tears and laughter. I have got to stop coming to Pug Village. I am too soft for this. :(

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